To Tile Or Not To Tile

That is the question: Whether 'tis nobler in the bath's walls to suffer the slings and splashes of outrageous showers, or take tiles against a sea of moisture, and by grouting protect them. 

Butchered Bard aside, this is what you can do with the help of a friend:

Quite superior than what you can do by yourself:

Yes, it looks really crooked but the sad thing is it's actually level. The walls are just that messed up. 

Now all that's left is spending a fortune on tile, buying mortar, grout, thinset, and hardie board for the floors. That shouldn't be too hard in the next 6 days right?